Mommy Mack

So although I posted an adorable photo of my son this post is going to be talking about me more than him. I plan to do some update posts about him and how he is doing but, as this is a mommy blog, I will mostly be posting about me and how being a mommy has affected my day to day life. I also will likely be mentioning my mental health a lot because my state of mind changes on a regular basis. Being a mom comes with so many mental health challenges for any mom let alone those of us who already had a difficult time getting through day to day due to existing mental health issues. I am in no way trying to say that moms who don't have mental health issues have an easier time being a mom. Every child is different and comes with their own challenges. Being a mom is hard no matter who you are. I often say it is one of the most challenging, yet rewarding experiences in the world. Between fluctuating hormones from pregnant to not, and just normal challenges of never endingly having to responsible for the life of another human being, it's hard most of the time.

Moving on, I want to talk a bit about how my day went today. My sister came home from college for the weekend and spent most of the day with my mom leaving me to care for the baby, don't get me wrong they chipped in and my mom held him and rocked him to sleep for his morning nap like she often does when she is off, I still made all of the bottles and did most of the feeding. I also made a bold decision after a conversation with my fiancé and I decided to take the baby to Costco for the first time. My mom and sister were going and with how I've been feeling lately I really didn't want to be alone. We have been trying to slowly introduce big stores to the baby despite our plans to keep him away until at least his 4 month vaccines. With my mental health declining, we decided that as long as we are careful, it shouldn't hurt to take the baby with us when we go shopping. Me getting out of the house and being an adult again tends to help some days.

As per usual when we got home we gave Rhys some oatmeal because it was his usual time at 7pm. Then at 8pm he had a bath with me, again usual. Then bottle and what should have been bed. He did go to bed for awhile, then I started typing this post. It is now 11:30pm and I am just finishing typing after putting the baby down for the third time tonight. He has to be rocked to sleep which is annoying some nights, but I know I will miss it when he gets older. So, each time he wakes up, he cries and I have to go and get him and usually the first time he doesn't want to go back to bed right away so I have to walk around with him and talk to him. Tonight, we sat in my moms room and put him down on the bed and let him talk to us. After awhile he got cranky so I fed him again and put him to bed. Then again he rapidly awoke and I had to rock with him awhile longer. Lately, bedtime has been a chore and waking up in the morning is never fun. Tomorrow we have plans and have to be up at a good time so I 'm going to call it quits on this post. I hope people were able to relate in some way. I will try to post again soon. Bye for now.